You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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