I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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