That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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