I look better un-naked...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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