i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
