hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize