I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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