Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
