Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How naked do you want me to be?
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