I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
