Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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