Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
