I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
