when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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