I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
