Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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