Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
