I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
love makes seman taste better
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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