I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
