yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just cropdusted the office
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
