i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
