Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
