Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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