Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
