she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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