some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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