i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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