Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
