The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
