so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
