oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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