I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
