in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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