genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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