Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Ladies don't puke and tell
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
