It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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