so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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