dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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