I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
