I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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