Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
