When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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