just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
