I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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