she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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