I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
