can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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