that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
