he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
