People with herpes should wear stickers.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
