and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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