I'm lost and stupid without you.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
