Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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