In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize