you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm at about main and main street
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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