Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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