i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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