that's an acceptable place to lick
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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