So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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