Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry coolman13355 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.

Fav 4 1128 1258
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.

Fav 17 3536 882
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

i should start naming my morning wood

(201): View more from New Jersey

great idea but wrong number

Fav 24 8665 1451
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

Fav 34 10554 1132
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

Fav 21 6965 1896
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk

Fav 3 1868 973
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

Fav 9 2891 1186
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.

Fav 2 322 472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+27): View more from South Africa

i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy

Fav 0 13 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT