Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
