Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Operation Purity has been aborted
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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