Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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