It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
