I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
