This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im holly from the hills drunk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
