Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
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I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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